Was that a MISTAKE???!!!!!

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.

John Powell

Mistakes are a big deal for all of us, aren’t they?  So many of us were raised to be ashamed of making mistakes.  Doing something wrong, making a poor choice or decision was associated with embarrassment and even disgrace.  But if we look at people who have succeeded in this world, their lives are full of mistakes and missteps.  The difference?  How they feel about mistakes and what they do from there.

When we are working with kids, it is easy to fall into what we learned as children, repeating the words of our parents without even knowing it.  If mistakes were welcomed in your home then you probably welcome them in your student.  But if you are like so many others, mistakes and errors can come with some emotional thorns.  One of the best things we can do for the kids we work with is to teach them to untangle the thorns of the word “mistake” and focus instead on using mistakes as a tool to learn and grow.  In essence, take away the stigma so kids can use missteps to develop.  Listed below are a few tips you can use to help your student view mistakes as a chance to learn.

·         Know your own issues with mistakes.  If you have trouble seeing mistakes as a good thing, work on changing your own view. 

o    Trying simple affirmations that encourage you to see errors as a learning tool will help.

o    Use famous quotes about mistakes to motivate you.

o    Encourage yourself to use mistakes to learn.  Talk nicely to yourself and make changes based on your mistakes.

·         Start a dialogue when your student makes a mistake.  Introduce the concept of mistakes as learning tools. “I wouldn’t get too worried about getting that problem wrong.  Just means we have to problem solve it a different way.  Mistakes are a great way to learn what works. Now lets figure this out.”

·         Use famous people and their failures to show students how everyone goes through failure and makes mistakes.  “Do you think Michael Jordan was a hit in high school? Actually, he was cut from the team in his sophomore year.”

·         Use different terminology.  “Misstep” just sounds better, as do “bump in the road” and “slip up”.

·         Use movies.  Here are some great ones that show kids how mistakes are learning tools.

o    Meet the Robinsons

o    The Karate Kid

o    Daddy Day Care

Have fun with your student and look for the opportunity to shape their beliefs about making mistakes.  You have incredible power to help them view missteps as a process of growth and learning instead of a sign of failure.

Have a wonderful month and remember to believe in the power of your every contribution.

Please feel free to go to: Tutor/Mentor Connection at Ning to discuss this article.

Maria Murphy writes a monthly Tutor/Mentor Coaching Tip for this site and has been a presenter for Cabrini Connection’s Tutor/Mentor Conference. She is a speaker, consultant and writer.

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